When two or three are gathered in His name, the presence of God is there. With Sister Sam and Brother Kena, however, it was so extra. There was confusion, good vibrations and an unexplained soothing breeze. A paradox it was. An awesome three-somebodies who catastrophically got their frequencies aligned without prior warning nor planning.
Allow me, first, introduce you to Kena. She was genuinely and verifiably beautiful, and make no mistake; I am not talking about her heart (I am not a cardiologist). The first time my eyes scanned her, I already knew she was out of my league. Immediately we started talking, I confirmed that in fact, we were playing different sports. Let me call her Ngolo Kante because she intercepted my thinking before I even had a chance to Babithink. I hadn’t even started aiming, leave alone shooting. Two days after we met, I was zoned. Friendzoned, bro-zoned, ozonated, economic-zoned, you mention them. Her bro-waves helplessly sunk me so deep in the zones of her oceans that I forgot she was a girl, nevermind her beauty. The painful part was people’s jealousy. They thought I had her heart, while all I had was her appendix.
Nevertheless, we enjoyed nice moments together. Like this day when she attempted the love calculator trick on me, and I put her beautiful sister in it, just to spice things up. Lest we forget her sister’s rarity and fine design. While we can say Kena is classically beautiful; her sister carries with her a pleasantly symmetrical height, with daunting laughter which (though not scientifically proven) helped me with my digestion the day I met her at the School of economics. Unlike the rest of you ladies, she doesn’t hug my stomach. I give that to her.
Kena, who seldom uses her other nice name ‘Laura’, has, not once or twice,tried to assassinate me. The most memorable one was when she shot me in the heart and left me bleeding to death. She confessed that she doesn’t eat ugali! That bullet went straight through the tender tissues of my heart. And almost immediately, my knees got weak and I could feel my pulse fading. I was gasping for breath and choking on my dry tongue, and I could feel life departing my body. Thank God for the gracious and majestic people of Nyandarua hostel whose strong Omena aroma gassed me back to life and patched the hole in my heart.
Let’s now detour to the following coordinates; Latitudes 00 degrees 13″ South and 1 degree 40″ north and Longitudes 35 degrees 36″ and 36″ degrees 30″ East. This should land us at the soul of Baringo County. Just look around, and if you are able to see grassy hills and theater of kids walking in intimidating troops, you are successfully in Kaptimbor location. This is the cradle upon which Sam underwent his life lessons. They own a relatively large piece of land deep inside the canopies locale of Kapchemuso, which is traversed with rivers from every direction. The guy is practically a millionaire. They live next to the airport, explaining his confidence and high-rise morale.
I can’t forget his first moments in KU. The image he is painting now is a complete refinery of a guy who used to wear yellow and green trousers. And as City life would demand, the guy raised his game, got his sense of fashion together and reconciled Kaptimbor with Nairobi. This same Sam guy was extremely photogenic, taking selfies everywhere and anywhere. Gratefully, he never took a photo at the KU main gate, else we wouldn’t be friends. He was so deep in love with his ‘Beii’(his own version of Bae featuring very deep Kalenjin intonation). Never had I ever seen somebody so passionate and affectionate like him. He was the first person to prove that it is actually possible to speak with someone on the phone for over 3 hours, as a man.
When we are not discussing economic trade wars between China and USA, or reasons for the productivity slowdown in most countries despite innovations like computers and the internet, we spent our time on our other professional area of expertise. Crush punditry. For every single of my 56 crushes, he would listen carefully and attentively as I shamelessly and honestly narrate my undying affection towards them(it wasn’t lusting, I crushed on some just from the way they swallowed food). He faithfully walked with me when I crushed on a lady for 3 years. She never had a clue and that made it even more satisfying. Interestingly, Kena gave me the first through-pass on her. ‘Tafadhali, hug huyu’, she awkwardly asked her one time, when she was passing by as we were having our study group discussion. I still remember that hug to date, no matter how many times other ladies have tried to dilute it. Her hug- prints still sticks in my feelings.
I never wanted to try out my luck. All I wanted to see, was her smile. Every time I did, I would crawl back to my coward world. The same way Harambee stars have never lost a world cup match, is the same way she never rejected me. Some crushes are just better off remaining as crushes.
In other words, Sam and Kena are important characters in the book I don’t want to finish writing.